Do You Have What It Takes?

4/12/24

Foreward: I met Autumn in 2017 after a natural Disaster hit our area (actually the entire Texas Gulf coast and large part of La. Coast). Her heart was the first thing I met. This woman, so broken hearted FOR OTHERS, on her own time and dime, started giving out things to help those that had lost everything or a little. Her and her husband donated more than time and money, more than many other community based services that were funded and established. She drove and loaded trucks, SUV’s and trailers FULL of items to be distributed. She dispatched boats and high water rescue vehicles out of her home for high water rescues not just for this event but for subsequent ones as well. She turned it into a non-profit and even went outside of the continental US to help. Sadly, the love of her life died suddenly and unexpectedly from heart issues. My friend was a young widow who’s life had been turned upside down. This is something she has written recently. It’s been hard earned but she is strong and determined. Love you Autumn and thanks for giving me permission to post it here.

THE MIRROR

I believe the mirror is one of the greatest tools available to us because it allows for self-reflection, which, if done correctly, can be a great gift to ourselves and the people in our life.

Self-reflection has to be honest … like brutally honest because if you cannot be totally honest with yourself, who can be?

Here’s what I see in my reflection:

I see someone who has been broken and devastated; someone who wanted to give up on this life and saw no value in living; I see a woman who wants to love but is afraid to; someone who wants to trust but can’t; I see trauma that may never heal properly; I see age beyond my years; I see a place where a heart used to live; a brokenness that disables me daily; I see weakness and doubt; I see insecurities and fear; and I see what seems to be just a shadow of who I used to be.  I see an overly independent woman who feels she has to be because she’s been let down. I see someone who has been brought to her knees and beyond the breaking point.  I see what truly resembles a train-wreck. If the wounds & scars on my heart and the bruises on my soul were visible, you wouldn’t recognize me at all.

That look in the mirror, the self-reflection can be brutal.  Then I close my eyes, take a deep breath and look again…

I see God.  I see what HE has done with my brokenness and trauma.  I see the strength I find in HIS grace and love.  I see the love, encouragement and support of family and friends who are no doubt gifts from God sent to help me back to my feet.  Some days I even see a glimpse of who I used to be.  I see a perfectly imperfect human.  I see a future.  I see unbridled strength. I see HOPE. I see someone who is working hard to be whole again.

Mirrors can be a dangerous tool if all you choose to see is the outward reflection and vanity; but a mirror can also be a healing tool.  I had to take many looks in a mirror and lots of prayer to learn to see myself as God sees me.  Sure, I still have work to do, but I’m better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be better than I was today.  How do I know?  Self-reflection.  

My advice: use your mirror wisely and don’t be too hard on yourself.  Easier said than done.  If every person in this world did just a little self-reflecting, I truly believe the world would be a much better place.  We are all here to look, love and live like Jesus and maybe more of us need to start seeing THAT reflection in the mirror.  I know I do.

Autumn B